Praise God! I've discovered my 'Angel of Health'

About 5-6 weeks ago, I tossed and turned in a hospital bed, scared to the core of my being after experiencing chest pains that send me to the emergence room with fear of a pending heart attack. As a patient experiencing these pains and a s a medical professional with extensive knowledge of angina or chest pain; I really feared that what I had experienced was a precursor to 'the Big One!' My father had his fires myocardial infraction at the age of 49 and had subsequently undergone 3 open chest surgeries for coronary artery bypasses to a total of seven vessels. My mother reportedly a 'silent MI' in her 50's. During my hospital admission, I was informed of my current weight for the first time in over three years. I have been too heavy for the standard scales. I weighed in at 392 pounds. I'm not sure what term applies for this. I was way past chunky, heavy, fat, obese and even morbidly obese (they'd applied this when I was around 200 pounds.) I knew what term was being applied in my mind ---- dead at 42 years of age.

Hopeless and dead. I have battled and lost (the battle not sustained weight loss) since I was 12 years of age. I was over 200 pounds in high school and only once since then (probably for a couple of hours) had I weighed below 175 pounds. I have tried nearly ever weight loss program around, Weight Watchers ™ numerous times, the Army diet, Overeaters Anonymous for 9 years, in patient treatment for a month on an eating disorder unit, 10+ years of psychotherapy, 18 months of Phen-Fen (thank you Lord I didn't have physical damage), Jenny Craig refused to work with me ( that feels like REAL failure) and just pain starvation 800-1000 calories a day. For nearly two years I just plan gave up; ate what and when I wanted; and couldn't find a scale to weigh me so who cared. Nearly once a week, during that time a couple we knew, my husband and myself went out to eat at a nearby Italian restaurant. Two doors down, we'd walk past a very busy looking place billed as One 2 One Personal Fitness. Not what I wanted to see after eating a huge plate of fettuccini alfredo. When my physical difficulties began, unbeknownst to me, my husband called and spoke to Joyce about saving his wife's life. He asked my permission and made an appointment for a Friday night; an hour after our Italian dinner.

Walking through those doors, into a group of various sized hardworking individuals sweating, and working feverishly was one of the hardest things I've done in my years (Gave me PA school all over again!!) I was quickly greeted by this tiny dynamo with a huge smile and even bigger spirit that radiated total welcome. If I could of hid behind my husband I would of 'cept next to me he's a tiny thing. Within seconds, I became even more afraid and hopeless. Joyce does not beat around the bush. We were talking a minimum of 2 ½ to 3 years of hard work and although she's your number one fan; she's a tough lady and hard taskmaster. What was most important to me - she's been there. She wasn't promising the moon tomorrow, next week or even next month. I wasn't being preached at by some size 1 blond bombshell who never had to regret missed years of her live. Most importantly, Joyce had faith. Faith that if I worked, ate healthy, consistently, and worked some more I could change. I no longer believed any of that anymore. I felt doomed to live/die in this huge monstrosity of a body. Although a spiritual person and believer in the wonder working power of Jesus, I no longer believed for myself. I shut myself emotionally and spiritually off when it came to my weight. I couldn't make sense of it to my self anymore. I either felt/irrationally believed that 1) God loved me; I prayed constantly I couldn't lose weight therefore I must be the most basest screwed up individual around. Or 2) God didn't love me; he hated me cause I was the most basest screwed up individual around and being this huge was my punishment.

When I left the consultation appointment with Joyce, I was in great emotional turmoil. I shut out my husband, and when we got home I kicked him out of the car and I went for a drive. Part of me just wanted to drive and drive and never stop' another part just wanted to drive to Lewisville bridge and either drive or jump off; another part just cried and another part just felt numb. (Ok I sound more that schizophrenic!!) I prayed and as I prayed I sensed hope as this very tiny light the size of a mustard seed. Even if I didn't have any hope Joyce offered me hope. And she believed; and acted as if something could change for me if I followed her recommendations. I reached the point where if she asked me to stand on my head and eat marshmallows by catching them after I tossed them in the air-I would.

Well obviously something's working!!! After 4 weeks of eating healthy (I ate that D word); and 3 weeks of workouts I went back to the hospital and humbly (or with humiliation) asked them to allow me to use their scales-I dropped form 392 to 368 in 3 ½ weeks. I don't know if you believe in miracles or not but I do. That's 24 pounds! A big Turkey!!! This is just the beginning of my miracle. I can move in ways I couldn't a moth ago. I can even feel 2 separate muscles in my upper arms! And I don't feel like passing out after walking from the car to the store. And I want to keep on keeping on with this lifestyle change. I thank God daily; hourly for His Grace and his Angels of Health from One 2 One Personal Fitness-Joyce and Frank.

Sincerely,

Lori Mays Age 42